Decidedly urban couple who quit their jobs and successfully backpacked their way through Asia for a year. They met Buddha, drank baijiu and learned to master the squat toilet. Now appearing in a new life as ex-pats in Singapore.

The opposite of a Thai Lady Boy?

The opposite of a Thai Lady Boy?

A thai man-boy with his penis hanging out?

Happy little hotdog

We headed off on a Malaysian nightclub adventure with our fabulous new friend William.  We’ve been in Asia long enough to know that ‘nightclub’ really means ‘karaoke bar’ and includes high decibel soft rock renditions of Britney Spears.

William promised us a “very good, have fun” night and explained that we were going to listen to Thai women sing in English, Chinese and Thai. It was going to be a great time even though William himself, “no understand Thai, I not know what they sing.”  We were pretty sure our signals were crossed when William began to explain how a Thai man is going to take off his clothes and show us his dick, “not real dick, fake dick. Real dick still inside pants.”

How could we refuse?

This is William's "having fun, having happy times" face

The night began on a high note, literally, and only got better. A live band played along to the canned pop music as a trio of leggy professional karaoke singers took over the mike. The louder and shriller they shrieked, the more the crowd went wild. Huge garlands of flowers were bought by the men in the audience and placed around the neck of their favorite singer.  In between each song the women changed clothes. As the night went on the shorts got shorter, shirts more transparent and the men in the audience bought more and more flower garlands.

The women in the audience had their own strip show too.  William’s favorite Thai man did indeed have a fake dick and took all opportunity to shock the audience with it’s size.

Gong Xi Fa Cai: We survived Chinese New Year

Gong Xi Fa Cai: We survived Chinese New Year

Chinese New Year is a great time to be deaf in Asia.

The Chinese believe that noise will scare away the evil spirits for the upcoming year and they’re intent on making life as loud as possible. Roman Candles constantly explode around you, competing with all manner of drums, bells and cymbals that echo from each city street. Lions parade around restaurants and wag their huge eyelashes into your soup. Gorgeous fireworks randomly explode off of your balcony and crowds of people stop dead in the street to stare at the sky.

It was a pretty wild 15 days.

We started the CNY in Miri.  After a huge family dinner, folks gather in the temple to light incense, watch fireworks and burn fake money.  Burning pillars of incense light the sky and a thick layer of smoke covers everything and everyone in a 4-block radius.

As I rule I think your meant to leave the temple totally stoned.

Similar a menorah but not really

Even SF isn't this foggy

Sticks taller than Vinnie

Too much smoke!

In Kota Kinabalu and Kuala Lumpur we danced and dined with Lions.  We had the chance to pet their cute little heads and receive a good luck orange.

Dancing with the Lions

Little Drummer Boy

On the last day of the Chinese New Year we watched as dragons and lions paraded around town, young children performed intricate martial arts dances and everyone threw oranges into the Melaka River.

Hopefully with all this incense burning, lion dancing, and orange eating, we have enough good luck to last until the year Dragon.

Farewell CYN, see ya next year